I swear she didn't look like that last week.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.