Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.