oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
