That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just google imaged poop.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
