I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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