am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
