so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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