help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
