1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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