She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize