I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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