No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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