we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
