I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize