i don't like sucking hair
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
