You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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