i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
