Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
