Cold hands, warm shart.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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