OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
