the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
