I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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