You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.