is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head