Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night