so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.