it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
