We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
so much tequila, so little girl.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
