toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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