Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
