but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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