mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
