Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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