his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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