Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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