If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The ass gains better be worth it
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