no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
