I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
