I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"