you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
there was a trapeze. enough said
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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