about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
