But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
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