We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize