i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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