chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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