chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Can I color on your dick again?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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