p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
