She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I enjoy the company of your penis
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
