Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
