my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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