He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
