Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Say something about gay babies.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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