Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school

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(905): View more from Toronto

I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.

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(817): View more from Texas

He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?

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(802): View more from Vermont

She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.

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(703): View more from Virginia

My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.

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