I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize