i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I need to calm my uterus...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
