my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize