they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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