if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize