dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize