i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize