i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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