roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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